Dear Distributor Part 2

Dear Distributor,

Stop sending me paraphernalia with the cases of wine I order.  I am not spending my time hanging your shit on shelves or putting stuff on the necks of bottles.  Do your own merchandising.

Dear Customer Part 12

Dear Customer,

No, I do not sell the wine you had on your cruise in Mexico/the Bahamas/the Mediterranean.  No, I can’t find it and order it for you.  Try one of the 6,000 that are distributed in the Midwest.

Also, if a wine you drank is the best memory you have of your $1500 vacation, you should probably just stay home next time.