Dear Distributor,
Stop sending me paraphernalia with the cases of wine I order. I am not spending my time hanging your shit on shelves or putting stuff on the necks of bottles. Do your own merchandising.
Dear Customer Part 12
Dear Customer,
No, I do not sell the wine you had on your cruise in Mexico/the Bahamas/the Mediterranean. No, I can’t find it and order it for you. Try one of the 6,000 that are distributed in the Midwest.
Also, if a wine you drank is the best memory you have of your $1500 vacation, you should probably just stay home next time.