Category Archives: Retail

Bah Humbug!

The day before Halloween, a woman told me she was shopping for Christmas gifts and I almost fainted.  “I’m not ready for this yet,” I told my colleague. But ready or not, the holiday season is upon us.  And when … Continue reading

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Dear Customer Part 7

Dear Customer, Do not just walk up to me and say the name of a grape varietal.  “Hello” is a nice way to start a conversation.  Or “Excuse me.” Or, you know, “OH MY GOSH YOU’RE VINTAGE BARB!!” But honestly, … Continue reading

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Dear Customer Part 6

Dear Customer, If you don’t know even part of the name of the wine you’re looking for, don’t expect me to enthusiastically assist you in your quest.  ”It has a white label, and I think it starts with an M” … Continue reading

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Dear Customer Part 5

Dear Customer, It is not my fault the store got rearranged, we don’t sell sugar-free Red Bull, or the hours  have changed.  It’s probably not my fault we’re not carrying a certain wine anymore.  I am not a part of … Continue reading

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Dear Customer Part 4

Dear Customer, I like kids.  I really do.  I have four nieces and nephews that I dote on and adore.  I hope to have my own children sometime in the near future.  But in my store, your rugrats are not … Continue reading

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I’m Not a Doctor

One night not long ago, a customer came into the store and said “I need a wine that won’t upset my stomach.”  I looked at him, then looked around for the crew from “Candid Camera.”  When I realized he was … Continue reading

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Dear Customer Part 3

Dear Customer, Please actually look for an item before you tell me you “can’t find it.” Do you walk into the grocery store and ask the first person you see where the Frosted Flakes are? “Oh I looked and I … Continue reading

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Dear Customer Part 2

Dear Customer, I don’t care about your wine collection.  You can list off your bottles until you’re blue in the freaking face.  I’m not impressed.  Honestly.  I really don’t care.  Buy something or get out.

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