Category Archives: Retail

Dear Customer Part 13

Posted on February 15, 2012 by Barb

Dear Customer, I get that you want sweet wine that tastes like Welch’s. And I understand you don’t care. At all. But seriously. Asking me which of Barefoot or Yellow Tail Moscato is better is like asking a butcher who … Continue reading →

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California Syrah

Posted on June 6, 2011 by Barb

Not long ago at a staff meeting, one of our sharp-tongued managers cried “Cool climate syrah is for CLOSERS.  The rest of you can go sell shitty Australian stuff.” He was right. Cali syrah is a tough sell.  Even customers … Continue reading →

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Dear Distributor Part 2

Posted on May 22, 2011 by Barb

Dear Distributor, Stop sending me paraphernalia with the cases of wine I order.  I am not spending my time hanging your shit on shelves or putting stuff on the necks of bottles.  Do your own merchandising.

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Dear Customer Part 11

Posted on March 31, 2011 by Barb

Dear Customer, Do not send the cheapest, least knowledgeable person you know to shop for wine for your dinner or party.  If you do, I will assume you don’t give a shit what you’re drinking and send your friend off … Continue reading →

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The Spoils of Victory

Posted on March 20, 2011 by Barb

Recently I hosted a California Wine Tasting.  It was a great success.  When I got home, full of pride and with a box full of leftovers, Jeff said “Are those the spoils of victory?” Here are some of the highlights:

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Dear Distributor Part 1

Posted on March 3, 2011 by Barb

Dear Distributor, If you haven’t called on me in eight months, you are very bad at your job.  Do not be surprised when I don’t invite you to participate in an event I organized a month ago with reps who … Continue reading →

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Dear Customer Part 10

Posted on February 6, 2011 by Barb

Dear Customer, Get off the phone.  If you are even considering taking a call or texting while in the store, don’t bother seeking me out.  I will ignore you.  Seriously, I’m not going to waste my time with you if … Continue reading →

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Dear Customer Part 8

Posted on December 4, 2010 by Barb

Dear Customer, Do not interrupt me when I am assisting another customer.  Would you barge into your doctor’s office while he’s examining another patient? You are not the only person in the world.  Get over yourself and wait your turn.

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