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Category Archives: Retail
Dear Customer Part 13
Dear Customer, I get that you want sweet wine that tastes like Welch’s. And I understand you don’t care. At all. But seriously. Asking me which of Barefoot or Yellow Tail Moscato is better is like asking a butcher who … Continue reading
Posted in Retail, Wine, Wine Sales
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California Syrah
Not long ago at a staff meeting, one of our sharp-tongued managers cried “Cool climate syrah is for CLOSERS. The rest of you can go sell shitty Australian stuff.” He was right. Cali syrah is a tough sell. Even customers … Continue reading
Posted in Retail, Wine
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Dear Distributor Part 2
Dear Distributor, Stop sending me paraphernalia with the cases of wine I order. I am not spending my time hanging your shit on shelves or putting stuff on the necks of bottles. Do your own merchandising.
Posted in Retail, Wine Sales
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Dear Customer Part 11
Dear Customer, Do not send the cheapest, least knowledgeable person you know to shop for wine for your dinner or party. If you do, I will assume you don’t give a shit what you’re drinking and send your friend off … Continue reading
Posted in Retail, Wine, Wine Sales
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The Spoils of Victory
Recently I hosted a California Wine Tasting. It was a great success. When I got home, full of pride and with a box full of leftovers, Jeff said “Are those the spoils of victory?” Here are some of the highlights:
Posted in Retail, Wine
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Dear Distributor Part 1
Dear Distributor, If you haven’t called on me in eight months, you are very bad at your job. Do not be surprised when I don’t invite you to participate in an event I organized a month ago with reps who … Continue reading
Posted in Retail, Wine Sales
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Dear Customer Part 10
Dear Customer, Get off the phone. If you are even considering taking a call or texting while in the store, don’t bother seeking me out. I will ignore you. Seriously, I’m not going to waste my time with you if … Continue reading
Posted in Retail, Wine Sales
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Dear Customer Part 8
Dear Customer, Do not interrupt me when I am assisting another customer. Would you barge into your doctor’s office while he’s examining another patient? You are not the only person in the world. Get over yourself and wait your turn.
Posted in Retail, Wine Sales
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